Dropout

From the title itself it’s pretty evident that I am a dropout. In this post I will just narrate my story and my experiences in this phase of absolute confusion and a very prevalent sine wave of emotions. Is this post a rant? A post that I am writing to help someone going through the same perils? Or just me venting out? Frankly, I have no idea. Anyway, here’s my story..

So, post choosing “science” in 11^th and 12^th my life was clearly laid ahead of me. But, I tried to change the script a little. I always wanted to do Sound Engineering (still do and will do). To pursue that degree I needed to study Physics on a 12^th+ level, which meant I had to do my bachelor’s in BSc. Physics or do Engineering. Since Engineering was the better option I chose that. Let me be clear here, I do not blame anyone for me taking engineering which is sort of the norm. My family was as clueless as I was and we learnt for the better through this ride of mine that Engineering or Medical is not the necessary criteria for a happy life. I am actually proud of my parents now when they advice kids to not take science or engineering but explore other fields and career options.

The next part of this story is pretty cliché so I am just going to wrap that up quickly. Engineering and I had a very short relationship which ended up in a horrible breakup! A lot of tears, curses the usual. For more details on my story follow the story of Farhan Qureshi in 3 Idiots. Just few tweaks to his story and that is basically the story of every engineering dropout in the country. I repeat it is that cliché. However, let’s now focus on the interesting part of my ride now, the reason I actually wanted to write this post, THE AFTERMATH!

Here I am, 3 years wasted with no idea what to do ahead in life. Sound Engineering still being in the picture I decided to purse Journalism and Mass Communication as it seemed like the most relevant degree for me to pursue. Here I would like to emphasize that a degree is actually really important if you want to make it in this world. Education is truly the best investment you can make. All the rosy dropout start-up stories are good to hear but only 1 in a million turn out to be that way. So, with the degree decided and time to kill, I try and lookout for internships in the same field to make sure that I can work in this industry. With sheer luck I got to work with a really nice bunch of people at a small studio in Mumbai called “Glowworm”. This internship phase taught me how to live alone, deal with loneliness, the importance of hard work and an overall sense that no matter what situation life throws at me if I show some guts I can get through it. I met a lot of cool people who taught me how to deal with my situation and truly filled me with self confidence. I am grateful for this experience and I do not think I would be exposed to this if I never decided to quit engineering. Sure if I had completed my engineering degree I would be working in a technical job like my peers and earned a nice living. I would not however be happy, which in my opinion is as important as a successful lifestyle.

On the flipside however, it was also one of the most difficult phases of my life. The constant fights with my family, the helplessness and the self doubt. Every time I hear a friend get a job it stings. If I hadn’t done engineering and done Mass Communication instead I could have completed my masters and earned just like them. But I am not. I am here waiting to give my exams for the second year of my bachelor’s degree. If I had the choice would I want to go back and change a few things that I did? Definitely. People never talk about this openly. The downsides of a situation, but they do exist. It does hurt and affect my mood or decisions at times. It makes me desperate for a better life. I cannot however let all of this bring me down. No one but I can pull me out of this situation. I put my head down and work my butt off. Life goes on.

I would just like to say; yes it is an important turning point in life when one tries to quit one thing and starts something else from scratch. Be it one’s education or career, or even in general when one is not happy and wants to change any aspect of life. It takes a toll on the individual and makes it difficult for them to live in this “society”. Let’s therefore not glorify or vilify a person’s decision to dropout of any situation. Let’s give them support that they need by first understanding that it is far better for someone to quit and do something that makes them happy rather than suffering their whole life.We dropouts aren't amazing to do what we did nor are we hopeless just because we did not follow social norms. We are just looking for happiness just like everyone else just that our means don’t necessarily match with general convention. It is normal, so let's treat it that way.

Doodle credits: Diti Joshi